If you are wondering if narcissits change, here is what you need to know.
A lot of people find themselves trapped in a relationship with a narcissist and find it hard to break the cycle, especially if the the other party doesn’t have a secure attachment style, hoping for them to change their behavior for the better.
But first we need to understand that narcissistic traits are deepled ingrained in that person as it has been developed often as coping mechanism during the early stage of their life. Therefore, to unroot these traits, self reflection & awareness are the first steps followed by a commitment to work on themselves with the help of a professional which narcissists will fiercely resist as they prefer control over growth.
Very few narcissists commit to this uncomfortable and difficult process to grow. However, the change will unlikely happen if their priority is not self improvement but to stay confined in their comfort zone.
Narcissists may act like they “bettered” themsleves for a short period of time known as the Love Bombing phase to lure you back in to the same toxic cycle, by mimicking change to regain your trust, adapting temporarily just to reverse back once they feel they got you under their spell. Obviously this is not a real change but a tactic they use to regain control over you, lift your hopes up for a better future just to crash you again, but real change requires consistency. This cycle is confusing and hurtful as you may cling to the good memories hoping that the good version of them will be back and stay. As a result a trauma bond is created and it’s hard to cut it off as you become addicted like a junckie waiting for the next dopamine hit, thus it make it harder to break from. Therefore, you must realise that real change in a narcissist is extremely rare and will take a toll on your emotions. Your well being & mental health should be your priority , set boundaries, not opening back to them like nothing happened and watch if their actions are consistents over time and don’t let them put a smoke over your eyes with words and grand gestures to win you back quickly if you are in a situation where you have to deal with them.
Keep in mind that you are worthy and deserving of a relationship rooted in respect and authenticity.
